We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Man Who Never Was

by The Villa Capri

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
Clockwork Man I'm a clockwork man Wind me with my key And I'll turn around and around like this you see I live with the dolls underneath the stairs Waiting to be found by a somebody who cares And sometimes I wonder why I was made to be constantly revolving then i see Everybody spinning holding out their hand Round and round and round they go Like a clockwork man
2.
A Million Today's Not Enough Deep in the city inside the old bank I like to think I’m a shark in a tank As I look out of my window and stare At all you hardworking suckers down there Rushing around like an army of ants Dreaming of living a life of romance Dreaming of living as millionaires can Ha! not me; I have a plan And soon I'll be richer than God and the man Who thought of the world's greatest financial scam I'll buy me a cigar but hey what's the rush? A million today's not enough A million won’t buy me a house on the Thames Will not supply me the right sort of friends How will it buy me my Sunseeker yacht? The answer is simple: it will not And so I’ll plunder and pillage and steal Billions from under your noses and feel nothing, like a shark feels for his prey And after the kill I’ll swim away And soon I'll be richer than God and the man Who thought of the world's greatest financial scam I'll buy me a mansion but hey what's the rush? A million today's not enough For what can you buy for a million today maybe a Pied-a-terre in zone three or somewhere that A man such as me in a felt bowler hat Couldn’t possibly swing a God damn cat! Sorry your house had to be repossessed But we needed money, we felt so depressed Then what can I tell you We just wanted more But then how to get it I know, let’s go to war! So tell me I’m selfish and say I’m a snake or a leech But perhaps in the future they’ll teach How to love, show compassion to one’s fellow man But until they do Grab all you can! And now I am richer than God and the men Who brought down the western economy then Wondered why everyone made such a fuss? A million today's not enough It's just not enough! Music and Lyrics by Frazer Douglas Copyright 2017 All Rights Reserved
3.
Delaney 06:14
I reside In a horrid little penthouse in the sky With an arm chair, a bed and kitchenette It's altogether quite inadequate But sometimes after dinner on a tray I pose myself a question oh let's say Who would I become? My name would be Delaney And I'd live above the Strand I'd be a famous author Other authors cannot stand For I would use the kind of language Other people never really understand But old Delaney's not the type to rest - oh heaven's no! For I would also be a famous impresario And all my plays would feature starlets I would bed But never really get to know If I could be If I could be If I could be If I could be the man I really want to be... But "no", he sighs Through his yellowed teeth and accusing little eyes "You're rent is nearly three months in arrears" As he slides the pencil back behind his ear Then huffs as I come up with something lame Whilst thinking "if you really knew the name Of whom I would become" I'd kill him with his rent book Dance the polka on his grave And with the poxy ninety quid a week that I would save Then I would buy his ugly wife to be my dutiful my ever-loving slave That would feel good! And when one of my starlets turns me in to the police I'll instantly outfox the judge and he'll have to release Me back into my high society which only will increase My public fame They'll know my name If I could be If I could be If I could only be if I could be the man I really want to be... But be on guard For Delaney may go hunting after dark For other thieving landlords on the heath Perhaps I'd start to kill them with my teeth "No please sir" in a trembling voice they'd plead But I'd just laugh as into death they'd bleed Oh what jolly fun! The newspapers will christen me The curse of Scotland yard But while their filthy trench coats flap the entire lower class Will whisper "Hail the cloaked avenger with his jaws of scarlet red" While I would not sleep until the last landlord was dead "I hear the killer struck again my goodness gracious me" I suppose the wretched fellow thinks the poor should live for free" And while the audiences clap and praise the plays Of the great Percy Delaney They'll never guess No never guess That it was me! If I could only be... Life is a flagon of water Life is a quart of gin Stuck in a bubble you oughta Use that safety pin I have a terrible feeling There is a ball and chain At the end of my rainbow Here we go again Words and Music by Frazer Douglas ©2013 The Villa Capri All Rights Reserved
4.
From Hell 02:48
FROM HELL They say the victim was in her prime Laying in ribbons a ghastly crime They declare wrong place wrong time Well that is what they say They say the murderer used a blade Coldly, precisely, that he displayed A surgeon's eye and dreadful skill They're looking for someone straight from hell Five pretty women while London sleeps Crimson the pavements as Jacky reaps For a prize they say he keeps Five pretty souls from rest And if you want to catch him Here's what you must do Publish all I have to say In the evening news Five pretty women as London sleeps Crimson the pavements and stained the streets Watch and see how Jacky cheats The rope and scaffold Too-da-loo Words and Music by Frazer Douglas © 2013 The Villa Capri All Rights Reserved
5.
You’re Weird You’re strange You’re really really really really weird You’re weird You’re weirder than the man who married his own beard You’re strange You’re weirder than the weirdest creature swimming underneath the sea The kind the other fish all laugh at and agree is weird That makes you really really odd You’re weird You’re like the funny pea that’s sitting in the pod You’re strange Much weirder than a freaky Martian man could ever hope to be And let me tell you baby that’s alright with me ‘Cos strange can be beautiful Like rainbows in waterfalls All the colours of the rainbow in the waterfall You’re really really rum You’re weird Nobody knows the crazy place where you are from You’re strange And so they point and laugh and make you wear a badge so we can see Exactly just how prejudiced society can be You’re really really quite bizarre You’re strange You’re stranger than the rest but the best always are You’re weird So maybe we can live together all in perfect harmony And let me tell you baby that’s alright with me Strange can be very nice you see And I think it’s what I want to be Music and Lyrics by Frazer Douglas Copyright 2017 All Rights Reserved
6.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you believe in Santa Claus? That every Christmas he visits the home of every child Who makes a wish ‘neath the Christmas tree If you believe in Santa Claus Then i can see you believe in a kind of kindness You believe in love Do you believe that reindeer fly? That while the snow falls they're pulling the sleigh across the sky To every chimney pot, if you do If you believe that they can fly Then I know why: You believe in a kind of kindness You believe in love Do you believe in Christmas cards? What if the world had none? How would we know how much we care? They say the things that we ought to share every day With Christmas cards we really say We believe in a kind of kindness We believe in love We believe in love

about

Odds and ends.

credits

released August 1, 2012

Written, arranged and performed by Frazer Douglas
Copyright ©2012 The Villa Capri
All Rights Reserved

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Villa Capri England, UK

A few years ago one of my musical heros Neil Hannon wrote me a very complimentary letter in which he advised me against over- producing demos - "record companies like to think they've found a diamond in the rough" he wrote. I probably should have listened! These albums are all very different so take your pick, listen and enjoy! The Villa Capri. ... more

contact / help

Contact The Villa Capri

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like The Villa Capri, you may also like: